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the past few weeks had been hell for for rose. she had been stressed out over her interview. her and kara were working to decide the best approach for her next statement. she had stupidly talked to troy with kara there but it hadn't helped. instead it just upset her because he was trying to turn this on her. he said she got it wrong and blown it up. every thing she had been warned about was there but she wasn't wrong. she had been right. the man couldn't take responsibility for what he did. he said a few months ago that he was getting help but he really wasn't. not in the right ways. he tried to talk about it and reason with her but rose was done. she couldn't deal with it anymore so she ran in a sense.
technically it was to a job. she had ignazio with her and kara would be in new york since it was technically her home. because of the vanity fair article, she now wanted to be there when rose even had a simple shoot without any planned interviews because she was worried that rose might slip up. except what rose really needed was to have her head screwed on right again.
despite having issues with some of the subtle cues, rose did well with her modeling because it didn't take much. they were pretty standard. with the photos, they wanted her to stick to the emotions that people could easily tell. with this shoot, she didn't have to smile or do anything other than change positions to show off the details of the clothes for the website on the first day. it came down to the shoots where she had to pull out her emotions. everyone was obsessed with fairytales. while there needed to be photos of everything that were for the website, they needed to do ad campaigns. there were a dozen other models so there was some variety for everything. all of them would be the center for different scenarios in the ready to wear, evening and bridal sections. everyone was excited but rose felt like that light of love for the modeling was dimming.
on the second day, she sat in hair and makeup. kara made sure someone came in who knew how to style rose's hair the right way. while they worked to put on the makeup that worked for the first round of shoots, rose just kept looking around. hebe was at the hotel while ignazio was there at the shoot with her. she was already debating on asking him to go get her dog as she played with the tie for her robe. there were a lot of thoughts but mostly if she was ready for this. "you don't have to stay if you don't want to." despite the offer, she smiled a bit. "unless you like one of the models. i know a couple so if you think one of them is especially pretty, i might be able to get you a number. girls like musicians." well, everyone did but she knew that ignazio liked girls. if landon was here-and single-she'd ask if he wanted a boy or girl's number. the people didn't turn her head enough to where she ever cared but her friends usually did and right now, focusing on her friends was a better use of her energy.
Ignazio would have been lying if he were to say it wasn't worried about Rose, still. The last weeks had been very challenging for her and for reasons that weren't even her fault. That was the worst part of it. She was the innocent in all of this, she was the victim. And yet people were making it out to be her fault. Ignazio had heard some of the things people were saying about her, he had read some of the comments online and it had all enraged him. If any of them really knew Rose, they could never think so ill of her. Igna had wanted to confront every one of them, but he knew it wouldn't help things. In fact, it was possible that it would make it even worse for Rose. So he held his breath and hoped it would all pass soon.
Igna was glad he was going to the photo shoot with Rose in New York. He was actually a bit worried she might get harassed and he wanted to be there for her if it happened. Igna wanted to take care of her and protect her from all this garbage. Or at least as much as he could. He couldn't help feeling like she really needed a friend to be there with her, even if people did leave her alone. And yes, she and Kara were friends of course. But a business friendship was far different from a personal friendship.
Ignazio sat in Rose's dressing area, sipping on an Espresso. He liked it, but it wasn't the same as the way it was made in Italy. The boldness was there, but the flavor was far different than what he was used to. He wondered, with it being New York, if there was a real Italian coffee place hiding somewhere in the city. Maybe if they had time once the shoots were finished up, they could go and explore for such a thing.
He watched as the artists did Rose's hair and make up. He couldn't help but think they didn't need to touch her. Her hair fell naturally in a way that complimented her face and her complexion was such, that she had no need of make up. Ignazio had seen her in her "natural" state, no make up or fancy hair creations many times. He couldn't help but think that was when she was at her most beautiful. Inga had always thought her flawless. But he also understood that women tended to be self critical. And if make up boosted a woman's self esteem, who was he to say she shouldn't wear it? That was why Ignazio had never brought it up, photo shoot or otherwise.
Ignazio smiled at Rose informing him he could leave. No. He shook his head. I will like to stay here, with you. There was no way he was leaving her to face this "alone". Yes there were many people around, but he knew when Rose felt alone in a crowded room. He had seen it in her eyes before.
Ignazio laughed out loud at Rose's next statement. I don't-a think any of dem would like-a me. Why would a model give him a second look? He had crazy, uncontrollable hair, party because he didn't care to control it. He had wild eyebrows that he refused to have plucked or anything else because he just felt that guys didn't do that sort or thing...or maybe shouldn't? He wasn't overly fashionable, though Rose had helped with that. And he cared a bit more weight than he ought to have. Plus, his English was beyond terrible. No, there was no way any one of these models would have a romantic interest in him. And furthermore, Igna wasn't going to choose to have a girls number, just because she was a pretty face. Maybe he was wrong, but Rose excepted, he thought most, if not all of these girls were pretty shallow. There was just subtle things he observed as he watched the shoots the last few days They way the girls looked at themselves in the mirror, they things they said to each other "Ok...I look totally hot in this.", the way they constantly snapped selfies and posted them for their friends and the rest of the world to, as they put it "drool over". And the way they talked to the people around them, like they were better than everyone else. Igna knew this wasn't all models, obviously because Rose wasn't like this. But it seemed to be the majority of models that were here. And it was a total turn off as far as Igna was concerned.
Do you need-a anything? Ignazio asked. Tea? Coffee? Cause I could-a run out and get eet for you. He offered in his sweet nature.
<3 these two <3
Rose felt like she was fine but she knew she wasn’t. She was having troubles sleeping unless someone was in the bed with her and she was back to hyperfocusing on things. Things were not alright with her. She shouldn’t even be working but it’s not like she could stop. Despite her world feeling like it was stopping, life went on. She had to move forward and push through the mental blocks. Being around some of the girls that she had known for years helped. They were full of life and while some of it seeped to rose, she still wasn’t sure how she was going to get through this second day or the possible third day that might pop up if this didn’t go according to plan.
Despite not being focused the way she needed to be, rose felt comfortable. She had a few girls she knew here, plus kara and ignazio. The only thing that would make her feel more comfortable is if her parents were here. Then it’d feel like her early days. Having lydia running around fawning over outfit would just set it over the top. Just the image in her head had rose chuckling under her breath to herself. Laughing was a good thing and putting her on the right path towards being able to do some sort of a follow-up. As long as she got to do something small, she’d be happy. Her hope was that she could write it herself. Kara couldn’t promise anything but she was trying to find a writer to team up with rose to get this written.
With rose’s state of mind, she was having issues with anyone touching her. She wanted to do everything herself but that’s not how this worked. Instead she played with the tie on her robe and taking in the setup. “you’re going to get pretty bored. They’ll be yelling at us to change positions and facial positions so if you do decide to leave, it’s ok.” kara normally didn’t linger around. Normally rose could be trusted to be alone but not since she messed up. Now she needed a babysitter for just a simple rotation of a shoot. Twelve scenes. That’s all that was needed today but it felt like fifty because of how stressed out she was.
“because you’re you. You’re sweet and romantic. Add in the musician and italian aspects and you’re a catch.” there were certain characteristics that women went through. It was strange and fascinating how certain things jumped out to women. Actually, men too. There were general things that were liked because society thought they were sexy but breaking down individual people’s attractions was always a lot more fun. Especially for rose because she didn’t really feel the physical attraction right away like her friends did. She almost never did until she was actually with a guy but there were always other things that drew her in. sometimes she wished that she was shallow enough to like looks first and not overthink things because then she’d be able to connect to her friends on that level. Most of her close friends understood but it still made it difficult with her new friends.
Rose shook her head. Caffeine just made her jittery before a shoot and she didn’t want to have any on an empty stomach either. Rose had eaten a bagel but nothing else because she had a flutter of nerves in her stomach. Normally she was cool and collected but she felt like she was an eighteen year old who was fresh in the modeling business. “all i want is for you to have fun.” rose sighed as she got up and stood in front of him. “when we’re done here, we can go do something you want to do. Especially since i’m going to the boring part. I have to go get fitted for the first round of photos. I get to wear a this outfit that i’m actually a big fan of. It’s one of the ones i’d actually be glad to wear all the time.” except, rose would probably sell it because she needed the money for school more than she needed clothes. “i brought my phone charger and a magazine but there should be a bunch of snacks if you want them. Are you going to be ok while i go get dressed?”
Ignazio shrugged at Rose's idea that he would be bored. He had his phone with him and he could play some games on it. He also had some calls to return about gigs and some emails to send. In addition, he enjoyed watching Rose work. She was a natural at what she did. She was more of a private person by nature, but when it came to modeling, she could put herself out there. With one glance she could show her happiness, with another her sadness, and with another, all her vulnerability. Ignazio thought she seemed like art in motion. It made him wish he could paint, just so he could paint her. Igna was sure any artist would covet her as a subject. Ignazio also felt he might learn more about Rose, just by watching her. Sure they were very close and had gotten to know each other. They told each other things, but not everything. Ignazio knew Rose had secrets, whether they just be certain feelings or emotions, just like h had. Although she knew his biggest, which was about Antonia. I like to watch. Ignazio promised. Plus, I have things I can-a do on my phone while you work...I'll be ok. Ignazio didn't want Rose to worry about him, he just wanted her to focus on her work.
Ignazio smiled at her compliment, but wrinkled up his nose and shrugged his shoulders as he blushed a bit. A catch? Him? No. He had never thought of himself as such, he couldn't wrap his mind around how any girl could look at him and think "catch". It had always mystified him why Maggie had even given him a second look, especially after he had seen her husband who was one of those guys that everyone, even other guys, had to admit was very handsome. Ignazio couldn't hold a candle to him, in his own mind. It didn't make any sense.Well...I still don't-a think dat I am a good fit for any of dem. He laughed a little and added another shrug, and the blush paled again to his normal skin tone.
Ignazio looked up at Rose from his seated position and she came to stand in front of him. I always have-a fun when I'm with you. He smiled. Okay so no, not every time they were together was for fun or even produced a fun time. But Ignazio always enjoyed his time with her. Even the times when she was somber or upset. Yes, he hated to see her that way, not for himself, but for her sake. But still, it was time with her, the dearest friend he had here in the US. Ignazio had never felt like any time with Rose was wasted....we except for when he got mad at her about Maggie. But that was in the past and he didn't want to think about it again.
Ignazio was glad she liked her outfit. It was nice to see her speaking positively about something and having something to look forward to. See...I have-a to stay and see you in-a dis outfit. He smiled. He really did want to see it. Igna thought she always looked amazing in anything and everything, but if it was an outfit she liked, she looked even more amazing, because she had more confidence and this glow about her. Ignazio wanted to see that right now. I'll be fine! He promised yet again. You go and-a do what you need-a do. Don't worry about me. Igna stood up and gave her hand a squeeze before watching her exit to get fitted.
He sat back down on the couch and pulled up the email app on his phone and began to type away. He was oblivious to how time was moving or what was going on around him until Rose returned. Ignazio immediately put down his phone and looked up at her. A grin grew on his face. Hey...You look amazing. He told her sweetly and it was true. She was stunning.
<3 these two <3
“ok but if you’re not for any reason, you can tell me during a break.” Shoots got boring if you weren’t the one working. There were times that rose had to linger on the sidelines while another model was having their term. Usually, she did classwork. Even before she went to new orleans, she took a few online coursing because modeling was her right now work love. She had a whole future planned out for herself. There were little changes that were made but the path for her career hadn’t changed. The personal stuff weren’t factored into her plan because she wanted to be able to just feel something when she was with her family or friends. For the longest time, she didn’t let herself have that but rose let go of some of her rigidity so that she didn’t keep drowning as she worked through her feelings.
Rose shrugged. Maybe he wasn’t. She just wanted to see him happy again. When he was with maggie, he lit up. There might not be another maggie but there was a chance to find someone. She didn’t think that he had to be with someone to be happy. He was just as upbeat when he was single but there were people out there. “just don’t think that for everyone, ok? You’re a good fit for someone. Though some of these girls might surprise you.” rose just didn’t get along with a lot of the ones here because they weren’t interested in science or history. Sometimes she wished that she could work with karlie kloss again because at least they could talk to one another about other things. The fashion was fun, and she even enjoyed it herself, but she needed a little variety. Which is why she usually talked for a bit and then focused on the shoot but right now, conversing was even more difficult.
The complement lifted her mood a bit. She walked a little taller as she went to get her clothes on. They had to make a couple adjustments because rose had lost weight. She was hoping that she hadn’t lost anyone but she had forgotten to eat a few times because she just wasn’t hungry. While it might be seen as an asset for this job, it wasn’t for her. Rose watched herself in the mirror. The makeup did a good job of hiding the problems but she was tired and exhausted. She hadn’t been eating or sleeping enough these days because her mind was so loud. Not to mention, she didn’t feel the same excitement when she was looking at herself. Over the last few months, it had been waning because she was getting more excitement about the fact she was starting graduate school and wondering if she should apply for some sort of assistant or research position while she was going to school. That gave her that rush of determination and not this.
The interview had catapulted the thoughts to leaving sooner than next year. The plan had always been next year. She’d do a few more shoots and go out on a bang but that didn’t matter. She didn’t want to walk across an olympic stadium like gisele to end her career. What she wanted was something that felt more like her but she hadn’t figured out what that was yet.
Rose smoothed out the dress as she exhaled. “thanks. I always liked blue.” she swished her hips a bit but they still didn’t give her that oomph that she was missing. When it wasn’t returning, she set the clutch down as a large sigh escaped. “this was a bad idea. I came back too soon. I’m not ready to dive back in.” except she had no choice but to do it because she had a contract that was requiring this of her. If she didn’t have a contract, she probably would have skipped out on it because she wasn’t ready to be in front of the camera. “i haven’t been this off since i started out.”
Igna nodded and smiled. He wouldn't get bored though...Well maybe he would. But certainly not enough to leave the shoot. He just couldn't see his way clear to leaving Rose there "alone". He knew she was vulnerable right now and he wanted to be there if anything happened to upset her. Ignazio just couldn't abandon her while he went out to have a good time. Besides that, he was the type of person that didn't enjoy discovering new things alone. It was always better to have a friend along to share in it with.
Okay, I won't. Ignazio returned. He didn't expect to be single forever, though it could very well happen. Maybe he wad destined to be a bachelor for all time. And as long as he had friends like Piero and Gian and Rose, he knew he could be happy that way. But he did miss being in a relationship. He missed having that connection with a person that was at least a few steps above friendship. It would be nice to feel that way with and about someone again one day, but Igna wasn't the type to go looking for it. If love found him, than he would happily let it happen, but he wasn't going to go searching for love.
Ignazio grinned and laughed as Rose swished her hips. She looked beautiful and the dress suited her body and her personality. He couldn't wait to see the results of the photo shoot because he knew they would be amazing. He had thought maybe this was the "shot in the arm" that Rose needed, but she suddenly seemed so deflated. Was this interview still in her head.
Ignazio stood up and placed a hand on each of her shoulders. He looked at her and smiled. Rose...you can-a do dis. Igna spoke confidently. You are da strongest person I know. You always get through everything. And-a you look so beautiful in dis dress...You are da prettiest girl here. He wasn't just saying it, he really believed it. None of the other girls here could hold a candle to Rose. You know how to do dis...Don't let-a anyone or anything get-a inside your head. You love to model...Don't let anyone take dat away from you. Ignazio kissed her forehead sweetly. I believe in-a you. Now you just need to believe in-a yourself. He gave her shoulders a little squeeze. I'll be here with you da whole time. Ignazio hoped his presence would help, but he also hoped that Rose knew it was okay to tell him to leave, if he was making things worse. Let's do dis. He smiled.
<3 these two <3
Rose didn’t see herself as vulnerable or weak but she definitely felt off at that moment. She kept a constant balance from day to day. She didn’t do a lot to upset that center that she found because she knew what might happen. When she was happy, she got too excited and practically bounced everywhere. Usually the bad caused her to have a more extreme reaction than joy but she still didn’t do a lot that got her too excited because she knew that she could be overwhelming. Some of that energy needed to come out now but she just couldn’t muster it up. She wished she could but the last few weeks had drained her completely. The only thing on her mind was that she wanted to go back to the hotel and take a sleep.
Rose wasn’t always exuding confidence but she usually felt comfortable with herself. There were little parts of herself where she had doubts but at a shoot, she was usually fine. It was strange to feel this off kilter again. “you’re just saying that because you’re my friend,” she joked. Rose was probably just too far in her head after the interview. It had been hard to escape from the self criticism that she was constantly experiencing. “except i don’t know if i love modeling anymore. I did but now, i’m more in love with the lab work i was doing before.” rose had constantly been excited for her internship. She wanted to do something like that now. It didn’t have to be with the fbi but maybe the police? The university of new orleans hadn’t had a forensic anthropology major so she double majored in forensics and anthropology. She could get a lab or university job but she hadn’t been looking because she had this job.
But all of her contracts were ending in a few months, so now she was wondering if she could get the kind of job that she wanted.
The last bit of stress melted away as ignazio kissed her forehead. She still didn’t love modeling but she was pulling away from that doubt. “yeah, ok.” she still didn’t feel strong but at least she didn’t feel completely out of sorts as her and the rest of the girls gathered. It was easier to slip into the right feeling for work when she started to feed off everyone else’s energy. Even if she could have drawn out conversations about fashion, when she was with them, they were able to enjoy the shoot and have fun. Being alone hadn’t helped but being here was good for her. The only thing was it didn’t increase that feeling of wanting to keep up with this work.
One of the worst parts of shoots was how long they took. They were trying to squeeze every scene into one day so there were a lot of outfit changes. They shifted from the everyday outfits, to formal wear and the bridal section. As they all shifted to the center of attention, rose was getting worn out. By the time it was her turn, she barely had enough energy. There were a few more girls getting ready so once the dress was on, she grabbed some food and set it down by ignazio before she grabbed her robe and threw it on. “when we’re done, i want to go eat. What do you want for dinner? We could go to the hard rock cafe?”
Ignazio rolled his eyes. Now you know dat's not true. He didn't say things just because he was Rose's friend, he'd never been one to do that. If Igna said something, it was because it was true and for no other reason. Rose was truly a wonderful, amazing person. And she deserved to be told that now and again. Igna was sure her family propped her up with loving and encouraging words. But sometimes, it was better to hear those things from someone you weren't related to. Well, just as long as eet's not someone forcing you out of love with eet...Den dat's ok. He smiled at her. I hope you can-a do what truly make you happy soon, Rose. That's all Igna wanted for her, was just to be happy and if there was anything he could do to help that along, her certainly would.
Ignazio watched the shoot closely. He was intrigued by how it all worked. It was amazing how long it took, but at the same time, the whole set up was very proficient and they were getting a whole lot done. The whole "team" worked together well from the models to the photographers. It was like watching a well oiled machine at work. Though with much more attractive parts. Igna found himself wondering if perhaps one of the models would give him the time of day. There were one or two that seemed very sweet and they were certainly attractive, though that wasn't a reason to date one of them. Outward beauty was just icing on the cake if the person had a good heart. Ignazio would rather date an unattractive girl who was kind and loyal, than the prettiest girl in the world who would wander.
After a while Igna could see that Rose was getting worn out. She had certainly had enough for one day. But they had to finish. He hoped for her sake, that the wedding part of the shoot would go quickly and then they could get out of here and she could relax. Ignazio felt she was probably too tired to want to go out and would opt for room service, but she surprised him. Yah, dat sound good. He nodded. It would be nice to be out in the city and have a new experience, hopefully make some good memories.
Ignazio hadn't really caught a good look at Rose in the wedding dress yet. He'd seen a quick glance, but she'd put the robe over the dress to protect it, before he could look it over fully. It wasn't that it needed his approval or anything like that of course. He just liked to see the things they put her in. Whoever it was that was dressing Rose knew her body and personality type well. They did a good job. When Rose did finally remove the robe again, Ignazio was bowled over. In fact, one could have knocked him over with the slightest flick of a feather. It was everything he could do, not to let his job drop to the floor. Suddenly, and for reasons yet unknown to him, his heart began to beat faster and for a moment, it was difficult to breathe. But he soon collected himself and watched as she assumed her position, looking something like a goddess, at least in his humble opinion.
<3 these two <3
“no. It’s been something that’s been bouncing around in my head for awhile.” which felt contradictive of the initial drive for the interview. She wanted girls to see it was ok to be girly and smart. Leaving modeling felt like she’d be going against that message but the initial drive for the interview had been overshadowed anyways. The focus was on the fact that she had experienced an abusive relationship. Plus, she could still try to tell girls and women it was ok by using her instagram following. She might not always be in love with social media but maybe she could take cues from other people and get her point across that way.
Shoots always took awhile. They took hundreds of photos so they could have options but even then, sometimes photos had to be stitched together to get the desired effect. Many of these would end up in advertisements in the fashion and wedding magazines. Another thing that ceased to be exciting was seeing her photo in the pages. She kept wondering if it was just her mood or the fact that she was actually starting to pull away from this job to the career that she wanted. What rose needed was to just talk it out when she wasn’t at work with kara breathing down her neck.
While going back to the hotel was ideal, she knew that ignazio hadn’t been to the hard rock cafe yet so she thought that he might enjoy it. They had movie props on display that could make the time to wait for a table pass quickly. If they couldn’t get in, they could go somewhere else because she wasn’t going to limit him because of her. Besides, they could rest after dinner. Rose was sure that she’d sleep heavily because this entire shoot was exhausting. Pretending to be a happy bride or bridesmaid not long after troy tried to reason her that he hadn’t hurt her because he wanted to marry her added a new level of emotional strain. The photographer had to point out a few times that she needed to look more in love or happy for her friend who was in love. Honestly, bridal companies needed to get on board with hiring real brides rather than models because at least they made it easy. However real brides weren’t sticks so they wouldn’t be used.
Which was another thing weighing on her mind. It was getting harder for rose to keep her figure. As she got older, her metabolism would slow and she didn’t want to spend half her day working out when she needed to focus on her studies. If she kept going, this would become her full time career again and she had pulled away from that to focus on school. That hadn’t changed for her but since she had an impromptu walk during spring fashion week, she was getting more offers. There was usually a steady flow every year but it increased. All of it would be gone over next month so she had until then to make a decision.
At the end of the shoot, the sun was starting to fall and rose changed quickly into the comfort of shorts and a tank top. While she was getting paid for this shoot, she was also receiving everything she had worn except for the loaned engagement ring. Kara promised to get it all to her hotel so rose and ignazio could head out for some dinner. “i think this is the first time in a month i’ve actually had this big of an appetite.” rose tossed her bag over her shoulder as she hailed a cab. “would you prefer to go back to the hotel or somewhere out? The hard rock was just a suggestion but we can try anywhere that you want to go.”
As Ignazio watched Rose, adorned in the beautiful wedding gown, it finally struck him. He was...in love with her. He didn't know if he'd been in love with her for a long time, or if seeing her in that wedding dress was what brought him to. But he was most definitely in love. It was obvious to him now. Every time someone said the word beautiful, Rose came to mind. Every time other women were talked about or he heard people making comparisons, he always thought of how Rose surpassed them all. Each time he had an issue he needed to discuss with someone, he turned to her. Every time he wanted to try something new and exciting, she was the first person he called. When he was upset, just the very thought of her could lift his spirits. When he needed to be near someone, he went to see her. Yes, Igna had other friends here in the states, other female friends. And he was close with them too. But Rose was always the one he turned to. And Rose was always the one that he knew he would do anything for.
It felt like every hair on his body was standing on end at once as the realization set in and for the first time in his life, Ignazio felt truly terrified. He couldn't be in love with Rose. Not now, not ever! She would never see him as more than a friend. And even if she could, he would inevitably screw something up and their relationship and friendship would be over and he couldn't go on in life without Rose there, even if she was only ever his friend. He couldn't afford to push her away. He needed her. But since he couldn't tell Rose how he felt about her, his only option was to pretend he wasn't in love with her. How long could he really keep that up though? They were together nearly every day, especially since the interview. Could he handle being with her all the time, but not being able to tell her? Not being free to act on how he felt towards her?
Ignazio spent the remaining time of the photo shoot, trying to convince himself for any reason at all, that he was not in love with his dearest friend. But it was to no avail. Every reason he could come up with, not to be in love with her, which were very, very few, brought up many more reasons to love her and so the whole expedition was in vain.
Igna was practically in daze when Rose finally came up to him, changed and ready to go eat. He heard her first words and acknowledged them, but he wasn't really listening. He couldn't even hardly look at her. Hmm? Igna asked at her next words. Oh! He responded instantly as he realized what she had asked. No...no we can-a go out. Dat's fine. He nodded. Fine... His voice trailed off as he nervous played with his phone for a moment before shoving it into one of his pockets.
Ignazio got in the cab behind Rose and stared aimlessly out at the city as they passed it by. His mind wasn't even able to acknowledge at this point that he was in New York City and he was indeed missing everything. But he was lost in his own thought. His skin almost burned as his body still seemed to be in shock over his sudden realization. If this was how he was reacting, he couldn't imagine how Rose would react to the news. Of course, it didn't matter, musing about it was pointless, because he wasn't going to tell her. Inga had to find some way to bury what he was feeling.
They arrived at the restaurant and Ignazio shoved his hands in his pockets as his yes flitted around the room. The place was cool, but he was to distracted to truly enjoy it. At the same time, he was trying to play it all of, so as not to alert Rose that anything was amiss. They were soon seated and Ignazio looked over the menu repeatedly. He had to keep reading it because he would instantly forget what his eyes had just taken in. Nothing seemed to be registering with him.
<3 these two <3
Rose never really liked doing the wedding spreads but oscar de la renta held a special place for her. They were her first major contract when she started to model. Whether she left modeling this year or next, this was the brand she wanted to go out with. While she loved incredere, there was something special about retiring with the line that she started out with. She wondered if kara could do something about that. The meeting next month would be when they can debate on all of this. She’d be sitting down with kara and some sort of a publicist. They had a lot to discuss and rose had to figure it all out before the meeting. The trip home would be what she needed because her parents and sister were usually able to help her work through the jumbled thoughts that were in her mind.
“are you sure?” he didn’t seem convinced that the hard rock cafe was a good option. It had been a long day so she could understand why thinking of anyplace was difficult. She hardly wanted to make a decision herself but this was a chance for ignazio to go places that he hadn’t explored yet. They had another day and night before they had to head home but there was a chance she would be called in for reshoots. It was rare but it sometimes happened. Usually with a group this size, they just tried to stitch different photos together to create the feeling that they wanted.
Sometimes, rose missed new york because there was always something to do. However, new orleans had more history and was just as busy but in a different way. After she visited her parents, she’d happily be heading back to her own place in louisiana. “we’re here.” rose had made a reservation in the car but they still had a half hour before they could be seated. It gave them some time to check out the props before they were settled in. as rose relaxed, the familiar ache of being on her feet while making just the smallest of changes was beginning to travel through her. “i’m going to need a long bath before bed.”
As rose shut her menu, she dropped her head in her hand. “hey, did you decide what you wanted?” when he didn’t answer right away, rose tapped the top of his menu with her free hand to reveal part of his face. “i‘m sorry the shoot took so long. Would you rather we just went back to the hotel?”
Yah, let's go. Ignazio managed a not too distracted smile as he stood and followed Rose to the cab as he continued to try and make sense of everything in his own head. He had already determined that he couldn't find away to convince himself he was not in love with her. So the alternative was to work on ways to hide it. This was probably going to be the most difficult thing that Ignazio had ever had to do.
Dat does sound good. Ignazio agreed. Not that he'd really done anything that warranted a long soak, he'd just sat there and watched her all day. But maybe a hot shower would calm his mind and allow him to sleep tonight. He pretty much knew it wouldn't though. Ignazio could already see himself laying in bed, staring at the ceiling as he obsessed over his current predicament, searching for a resolution that couldn't or wouldn't be found. Why did life always have to throw curve balls? Why did he have to go and fall for Rose? Why couldn't they have just stayed the best of friends in his mind, forever?
Ignazio was so lost in his own thoughts, he didn't realize how long he'd been staring at the menu. Neither did he hear Rose speaking to him until she pulled the menu down and looked at him. He stared at her for a moment and finally answered. No! Eet's-a fine. he smiled. I like to watch eet...Eet's fascinating. Igna was being completely truthful. He had loved getting to watch her shoot and liked to see how it all worked. No. I want-a to stay. It was funny how in this moment, for the first time, the roles were reversed. Rose was usually the one that was distracted and Igna was offering to take her back. But this time, Rose was the one offering for them to leave. But he really did want to stay. This was exactly the type of thing he always loved doing with her. He didn't want this to be spoiled.
Clearing his throat, Ignazio took one more quick glance at the menu and ordered the first thing his eyes fell on. I'm going to order da Salmon. He told her. What are you going to get? He asked curiously and tried to focus on that and not let himself get distracted by the continued search for a "fix" to this "problem".
<3 these two <3
By the end of the shoot, she still hadn't felt that rush of energy. If anything, all it left rose with was more to ponder. The idea of leaving with Oscar de la renta was an appealing one. She could finish out her contract with them and nike. They ended in october. Rose already calculated out that she had enough saved for three years of school and rent if she didn't get a job. If she got one-which she would-she could go for a few more months until she found a roommate. The idea of retiring wasn't something that was new to her. She tried to figure out as much as she could because she didn't want to ask her parents for anything. She knew they would help in an instant but rose liked being able to provide for herself.
The idea of a roommate wasn't appealing as she found that she liked living alone but she would do what she needed when the time came. Right now, they were just ideas that she had to flesh out and then bring them to kara. She knew that her manager would struggle at first but eventual understand. There were times to move on. While there were a fair number of models working until their thirties and forties, rose was never going to be one of them. She had always known she would be out of the game before them but she hadn't expected it to be this soon. Too many factors were contributing and making it difficult for rose to think if extending it longer than next year.
”are you sure?” he sounded sure but he also wasn't himself. Normally he'd be talking about everything he was seeing and putting it to memory to tell his mom about later. Instead, it felt like he had been replaced with someone else. ”whatever you want. It's on me.” if she retired this year, she might as enjoy one last summer of splurging just a little before she went on a budget. Since it was just her and hebe, she could stick to the things that were necessary. ”one of their burgers.”
After the waitress took their order, rose leaned forward against the table. Her fingers fiddled together as she studied him. She didn't like to push so she wouldn't do it with him. ”we should stop at the gift shop and get your parents something. We can also find one of those little vendors and get them some “I heart nyc” shirts.” rose liked his parents. They were good to her, even if there was a language barrier. Taking Spanish had helped because she knew some of the words but there was still a hurdle when she had been there. ”I'm glad you came on the trip with me.”